The Slightly Embarrassing, but Nonetheless Important Subject of...

OK, so you go to the toilet in Japan.

It looks fairly ordinary...

...at first.


But, what's this?　

"In Operation" ?

"Seat On" ?

"Warm Water" ?

　 Well, you sit down on the warmed seat (which prevents bad things happening), and when you are, ahem, done:
　

　Look, just look at the pictures and use your imagination.

The left up- and down-arrows are water (spray) strength, and the right says "nozzle" with "forward" and "back" on the arrows.

If you still don't understand, please raise your hand and call out "I need an adult".

Flushing gives you the option of "big" or "small":

　 And when you flush, water comes out of the thing at the top:

　 Now, I never knew what that was for until I asked someone, and the answer is that it is for washing your hands.

Even though toilets have seperate hand basins.

This is a way to save water, because this water comes from the tank.

Apparrently, its quite clean.


I have to admit I have yet to get used to this.

Now, you must be thinking "well, if there isn't enough space, you can't fit the basin in".

But check this out:



　 A sink large enough for a large grapefruit. Most likely the smallest in the world.

Its so small, the tap is actually...

...inside the pipe !
　


　
Also, if you look at the first picture of the sink, you can see that the pipe does a loop instead of a U-tube, probably in order to save space.

Now, do take note (and I'm pleased that you're taking notes), that in some cases you can get press-button flush:



In other cases, you can get a tv in the toilet...

... with its own remote control ("rimokon"):　

　 In Haneda airport (Tokyo), you even get tv's in the toilet cubicles:
　

　
So, with all this technology, you would be surprised to hear that western-style toilet sales only exceeded those of squat-style toilets in 1977.
　

　 And that the current electronic toilet was first introduced by Toto in 1980.

Now, if you think that that is the extent of toilet tech in Japan, then take a look at this:



　 With this control panel, you can set the ventilation time for the toilet and shower room, including a drying setting.

This is a standard-size bath:
　

Compact, even for a medium-sized Japanese person.　

But, of course, it does have some fantastic technology:



　 You can tell it to fill the bath with how much water (to the nearest liter), how warm (to the nearest degree), when (you can put in on timer), and it can even call out to you to tell you when its done.

Wow.

Adult Weekend

What do you expect to find in a magazine called Adult Weekend?

A list of bars, theatres, and restaurants suitable for adults?

A front page article about how to make your relationship better?

Or how about an expose' on ....

" SUSHI!

Cheaper, and more fun ! "

　 This magazine promises to show you some awsome restaurants which are great value.

And it delivers.

I went to one in Ginza (poshest part of Tokyo) and the food was fantastic, decor traditional-chic, and it was cheaper than an average place you wouldn't look twice at.

But the magazine doesn't only deal with sushi, it also reviews other stuff:

　 But along the same lines.

But then, aren't the pictures pretty?

　 Here's some more sushi up close:

　 Wow. I want some of that !

(I'll swap the egg for a salmon)

　 OK, OK, enough. I'm going to eat the magazine at this rate.

　 Available at Tokyo subway stations for 500Yen ($5)

Of All Involved

Now, what do you expect from a Japanese cigarette vending machine?

Clean, efficient and unobtrusive?

Yes, of course, but you've missed one very important point:

And that is, of course, a slightly ironically-inappropriate Jinglish name, such as Black-Impact:
　


　
I counted the types of packets in a machine yesterday (I'm unemployed).

There were thirty-eight.

Anyway, there is one thing you still haven't thought of.

And that is....


　
An electronic touch-reader age verification system!

You didn't expect the Japanese to let an opportunity for high-technology improvement of society to slip by, did you?

Be honest.

You have to be 20 to buy cigarettes in Japan. This card makes sure you're at least 20. Oh yeah, or know someone who is at least 20. Oh, and you could have stolen a wallet from someone who is over 20.

If you think theft doesn't happen in Japan, then unfortunately you are dead wrong.

In an interview with KFC staff in Nagoya on the TV channel I was watching yesterday daytime, it was revealed that in ten years of service, the Colonel's umbrella was ... how can I put this ... STOLEN! Yes. And in that same period his glasses were stolen TWICE! They had to resort to loosely tying both to the fat plastic body.

Now, the Taspo website says " The Japan Tobacco Retailers Cooperative Association aims to work with all affiliates and union members to improve the operations and economic activities of tobacco retailers, for the economic and social improvement of all involved. "

And that, as far as I can tell, is what Japan is all about - the economic and social improvement of all involved.

This caught my attention...

....Looks important

　

...a noodle shop specialising in duck?

Well, now I can see why.

How to make the 1930's cool again

　 Since we now realise we're all going back to a world of pain, in which every man shall be reduced to eating his very own pack animals for survival, surely the time has come to make the 1930's cool again.







　
So, what better way to achieve this than with...

...some retro-cool 1930's technology !

But - what on earth is this:
　

Why, a do-it-yourself candyfloss (Watagashi) machine, of course !

You put in your 100Yen ($1), brandish a chopstick*, and the thing starts whirring.


Now, move the stick around to collect up the fluff:

　 There you go!





Happy now?　

* A small practical problem with deploying this technology in Europe may be that the chopsticks will get stolen in short order, or that someone breaks the whole thing.

Ultraman Leads to Great Success

Now, when looking through the myriad of tasty automated-vended beverage opportunities in Japan, what, do you think, is one of the top features that you should look for?
　














Why, how about endorsement by none other than Ultraman himself!

Now, people from Europe may not be completely familiar with the adventures and exploits of the great man himself. I do sort of remember a computer game featuring the silver hero, maybe guest-starring Gozilla.

Anyway, it is fairly safe to say that a super-hero from Japan will be fairly advanced in overall skills and technology employed, but will not noisy or messy at all. Probably he is excessively polite. And works very hard.

And, although we only see the good side of Batman and Superman, I bet you they stole street signs when they were younger.

So, when such a product is offered at the promotional rate of 100Yen ($1), it would be a crime to not get involved.




　
The drink itself it a "Saida", with sounds like Cider, but in fact is a sweet soda. Its like a mild version of Tizer, or Iron Bru, with a hint of isotonic drink. Quite good, actually.

The can says that Ultraman earned his stripes protecting the world in the space patrol team. Following this, he then joined the "Crew Guys", who specialise in protecting the earth. It appears that in typical Japanese fashion, he is part of a team and not a lone ranger.

The front of the can even looks like Ultraman's face. However, there are loads of different types you can buy and, er, collect, I guess.

This is the part where I became I true believer in the power of Ultraman:

Now, as you already know, all vending machines in Japan are clean, well-functioning, reasonably priced, and don't steal your money.

And there is usually one within ten seconds walk in any compass direction.

And, by my estimate, there are between eight and ten billion varieties of drinks available.

But what you probably didn't know is what this is:

　
"If the number goes like this, you get a free bottle" (!)

A random set of four numbers comes up. For me, it flashed 9999. And all the lights under the 100Y drinks lit up! I hit this one:




　
So, what does a free Pocket Juice Stnad taste like?

Very interesting.

Its kiwi fruit juice, which actually tastes a lot like lime juice, but with loads of chunky pieces of kiwi in it.

The texture of the bits is a little unusual. But the flavour is good.

Overall, quite good, not bad, certainly not for a free drink.

Hand-Made Onigiri To Order In Umeda Train Station

Now, this is really not very complicated at all.

Hito Tsubo ("One grain of rice") catches your eye.

　
You check out the modelled onigiri (rice with filling wrapped in seaweed).

Have a look at the prices. Salmon for 190Yen ($1.90)? Yes, that really is reasonable.

　



And, moments later, you can enjoy a hand-made onigiri with salmon filling. How good is it? Much better than the 7-11 version. The rice is properly warm and sticky, and there is a decent filling of salty salmon. Eat in walking down the subway to get the genuine why-am-I-getting-looked-at feeling.　

Answers to some questions that you didn't think of asking

What does a Japanese restaurant in Japan look like?

That is a good question.

The answer may be something like this:

(you get 1 point for every difference you can notice between this and a western restaurant. Ready?

....Go)

　

Did you get more than two? If not, then you need to see a medical professional. Answers at the bottom of this post.

Another local forte in Japan is oversized akachouchin, or Chinese style lamps.

　

Now, you've left the restaurant, and, having drunk some beer (say, Asahi super dry), you fancy a cigarette.

What better than...

...a mega selection cigarette machine!

　
Now, say you don't smoke. But you really want to top up dinner with some tasty Cowpiss.

What would you do in such a situation?

Why, head for the vending machine.



But what if there isn't a vending machine nearby?


"But, of course! This is Japan!"


Here we have three vending machines practically sitting on top of one another:

Answers to quiz:





1. Sliding doors.


2. Umbrellas left outside the restaurant not stolen.


3. Customers have taken their shoes off inside.


4. Everything is in Japanese !
(you really should have got that one)

Japanese Boat.

Osaka is home to the flatest boat in the world.




Now, since there really isn't any obvious technology advantage to having this so flat (you can tell the height of the bridge from the angle of the photo), we can only conclude from this that they made it diminutive to be unobstructive and polite. Japan Blog

￥900 ($9)

Osaka train station.

Includes tea and bowl of noodles.



















Japan Blog

Dry Cleaning.

Even Japanese dry-cleaning is lightyears ahead of Europe.


This shirt came out so crisply, I wasn't sure for a moment if I wasn't going to eat it.

Seriously, there is so much good stuff here, we need to send over some science people with clipboards.
Japan Blog

Drinks Machines

Japan is a country so advanced, that it makes us look like a bunch of losers. And thats the flattering way to put it.

Here is more evidence for this scientific fact - Japan has vending machines everywhere, so you will never be far from a well-chilled, affordable, and nutritionally supplemented drink. It also has the world's largest fake canned coffee with man's face on it.


















Japan Blog