Crisis Amongst the Cherry Blossoms

　 So, April has arrived. Sakura season is in full swing. Cherry blossoms are blooming, filling towns and parks with soft pink fluffiness. And Hanami parties are popping up everywhere. During the daytime, blue plastic sheets reserve the best spots for company parties. Later, office departments sit down and get progressively drunk in a relatively quiet and amiable manner.

For a map of the cherry-blossom front (South-to-North), click here (Map key top-to-bottom: Still Buds, Started Bloom, Viewing Time Now, Start to Fall Off, Finished, No Data). You can check out the developments in this year's blossom in most important parts of Japan - here is the current situation in Tokyo.


　 However, according to one daytime TV program ("The Crisis Continues - The Latest 2009 Hanami Situation"), not all is well at all. Really. There are disturbing reports indicating that ripples, nay, quivers of the financial mayhem have reached this far, impacting ordinary Hanami-goers and the industry supporting their needs.

This lady says this Hanami party is also her farewell event, because she is being let go of.

She reveals how last year they had sushi, but this year, they are having....　

　 home-made Oden (boiled stuff) !　

　 It has even impacted the homeless. This chap says "The level of rubbish is definitely down from last year, and its impacting homeless people"


　 However, delivery pizza has not been impacted, in fact sales are up as punters previously too-posh to nosh on baked dough products smothered with gooey paste are downsizing.


　 The increase in Hanami deliveries is proving challenging, even for the highly motivated, yet poorly paid ($10-12/hr), delivery staff. This girl is trying to find a customer, and is literally running around a park full of Hanami-goers, pizza in hand.

　 The customer got lost on his way to the meeting point. Irresponsible.

　 Here he is enjoying the pizza during his hanami party.


　 However, the pizza shops are eating the sushi shops' lunch, so to speak. This sushi chef is says "Last year's $500 customers have become $200 customers".

　 Not only that, but the latest fear is that there are too many old Sakura trees in Japan - once they get past 60, they may start to loose their flowering potential !


According to Yomiuri Shinbun online Sakura News service (top breaking cherry blossom news brought to you daily), one village in Okayama planted 137 Sakura trees to celebrate victory over the Russians, over a hundred years ago, but over the past few years they have started to decay.

The finances of the village (pop. 80) are starting to look like those of the US Government, but on a smaller scale (they have been asking tourists to help out with donations). Similarly to the financial crisis, this is one requires significant capital and it is not going away quickly. Treatment involves packing mucky stuff found in ponds into the sickly tree's wounds, and costs $1,800 per tree.

So, with millions of ageing cherry blossoms, is this the time to see this situation as an opportunity?

To become a "tree doctor" in Japan takes seven years of experience in diagnosing things that go wrong with trees and an exam on tree-related knowledge, says the Japan Tree Doctor Association.

But if we're moving from a Service-Economy to a Potato-Based economy (one step advanced from the Looting Economy), then this certification is surely a golden opportunity.

How to Market Trucks

　 In Japan, many companies have their own company song. Employees in some cases are required to sing the song to show how integrated they are with the company.

Unfortunately, most of these songs are not really very good at all. Some of them are outright bad. Until very recently, exports of things like electronics and "general machinery and equipment" have been the engine (if a spluttering one) of Japan's economy. Its difficult to make, say, precision castparts, or RAM memory components into an arousing and tuneful melody. That is, unless you have a very niche audience. Such as one to which you are paying a monthly wage make you some castparts.

However, in a stroke of marketing genius, the Isuzu Motors Corporation (corporate goal: "the vision of being a global leading company in commercial vehicles and diesel engines") has combined a catchy chorus with lyrics that are moderately funny in the corporate-irony way, to create a highly memorable advert. The song is called Isuzu no Toraku ("Isuzu Truck"), and, according to online rumours, is the actual Isuzu corporate song. The lyrics give you a hint of what it is like trucking around Japan in an Isuzu Motors Corporation product. You can watch it here, although the video may not work for some computers. But, in order to experience the full version, I recommend watching this youtube link, which also shows you a variety of Isuzu Motors products through the ages.

Further, on the Isuzu Motors website, you can listen to the original version, download the song in MP3 format (its the top right of the eight options), and on the same page, you can do karaoke to the song. The options below are Orchestral Version, and Karaoke Orchestral Version. Since you're on their site, why not download a handy and attractive Isuzu calendar for free. To add to the irony, as bad luck would have it, Isuzu has just announced a massive truck recall in the last few days.

For your viewing enjoyment, I give you the English lyrics, below. When listening, please pay particular attention to the chorus. In order to help you sing along, I have also given you the translitterated chorus.

　 For comparison, click here for the embarrassing list of IBM corporate songs, and check out the downright they-must-be-joking IBM anthem. Also, you really must listen to the Shell song, possibly the top of the so-bad-it's-good category. The lyrics litterally had me putting my coffee cup down for safety. Keep the link to the Shell one - I can promise you that you'll come back for more later. For the top of the Japanese budget category, view Nihon Break Industry. It has great lyrics like "let's break the house! let's break the bridge! East and West - let's go!", and is quite popular.

Back to Isuzu.

Translitterated chorus:


"
I-tsu-u ma-de-mo, itsu-u ma-de-mo,


Hashi-re hashi-re,


Isuzu no toraku!


Do-u-ko ma-de-mo, do-u-ko ma-de-mo,


Hashi-re hashi-re,


Isuzu no toraku!
"





Lyrics:



Verse 1.
If you open the door, the air is cold,
ドアを開けたら冷たい空気

White breath spreads out,
白い息ひろがった

Inside your pocket, your hands are freezing,
ポケットの中凍える手

Sayonara to yesterday’s stars,
昨日の星にさようなら

So, lets go down to the street in the early morning twilight,
さぁ　走り出そう夜明けの街へ

The morning is starting, the morning is starting
朝がはじまる　朝がはじまる

So, lets head down to the sea that is in the morning sun,
さぁ　走り出そう朝陽の海へ

The morning is starting, the morning is starting,
朝がはじまる　朝がはじまる

***CHORUS***
Whenever, whenever,
※いつまでも　いつまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック

To anywhere, to anywhere,
どこまでもどこまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック
*******


Verse 2.
A milky way of brake-lights
ブレーキランプの天の川

The street is just over there,
街はもうすぐそこ

Searching for the wind outside of the window,
窓の外　風を探した

A long journey is almost over,
長い旅もあとわずか

So, lets head out to the glittering street,
さぁ　走り出そうきらめく街へ

The street is getting closer, the street is getting closer,
街が近づく　街が近づく

So, lets head out to the glistening sea,
さぁ　走り出そう光の海へ

The street is getting closer, the street is getting closer,
街が近づく　街が近づく

***CHORUS***
Whenever, whenever,
※いつまでも　いつまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック

To anywhere, to anywhere,
どこまでもどこまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック
*******

The power is swelling, “broom, broom, broom”,
みなぎるチカラ　ブルンブルン・・・
Come-on, the power, “broom, broom, broom”,
がんばるチカラ　ブルンブルン・・・

***CHORUS***
Whenever, whenever,
※いつまでも　いつまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック

To anywhere, to anywhere,
どこまでもどこまでも

Go on, go on, Isuzu truck!
走れ走れいすゞのトラック
*******

Whenever, wherever.
いつまでも　どこまでも

A Trip Around Pen Station

One of the many cool things about Japan is when you see something which should be everyday and commonplace, but yet is spiced up in some important (but often subtle) way.

I was on my way to some important business (actually an interview with a tent-full of thinly-disguised circus clowns masquerading as financial consultants), when I spotted something unusual about the cafe I was about to step in to:


　Take a closer look:

Pen station? Pilot?



　 Yes, this is the Pilot cafe and Museum - "the sole writing implement museum in Japan, showcasing a display of unique, fascinating pen and stationary from around the world" !

The mission of the museum is for visitors to "take home the message of knowledge".


　 Intriguingly, there is no sign of ridiculous-sounding items on the menu, as would be certainly a marketing necessity in Europe. If not "inky filtered coffee" and "ballpoint cheesecake", then at least "signature coffee" named after posh fountain pens.

　 None here, either. Interesting.

　 Now, when you come in, the first thing you see is a lit-up staircase, with every step telling you one part of the Pilot Corporation story.

　 Important milestones such as "1961 First ball point pen produced and marketed" lead you back in time to the founding of Pilot.

　 The top step :

　 So, having travelled back in time, we are now start from those early days and move forward:

　 The story starts with Wada Masao, who founded the company back in 1918, with Namiki Ryousuke as his right-hand man. Both wore round glasses and quite smart suits. The slogans of the company in those days were:

"Work together with a joyful spirit"

"Overcome difficulties"

"One day, one step forward"

So, we can assume that it was somewhat tough-going in the beginning.

The museum itself opened in 2002. However, although the visitor brochure recommends the cafe as "the perfect place to take a break after the exhibition", most visitors seem to go straight for the "relaxed, stylish Cafe", which is, in fact, very well presented.

I was impressed by the brochure's grammatically-correct-yet-still-Jinglish selling points:

"Chat away with company, and enjoy the view from the window as you sip on a warm, refreshing espresso. Our conveniently close proximity from Tokyo Metro's Kyobashi Station also make our Cafe' an ideal location to relax in while waiting for your company to arrive."

Next we come to a giant fountain pen.


　 Next to the giant pen there is a display cabinet fun of loads of different old-school pens.　

　 Now, this being Japan, you can naturally watch a documentary concerning the salient points of evolution of fountain-pen design. On a big flat screen. Of course.

　 And you can interactively learn about Pilot Corporation's different products in history:



　 However, for me, the most interesting aspect of the display was this fake-smoke machine. It really didn't add to the atmosphere, but was trying very hard to contribute, nonetheless.


　 So I was just getting around to the Iro Shizuku ("Colour Droplet") range...

　 When I was invited to check out the Classic Collection, by a very kind Iijima San, the director of the museum!


　 At the time, I didn't realise he was the director (only after I got his business card later), but he was very nice, and we ended up talking about fountain pens longer than I've ever talked with anyone about writing. He also used to live in China, and found that selling to the Chinese was...."challenging".


　 The other big challenge is getting people as concerned about their writing implement of choice in the digital age.

　 Iijima (飯島, "food island") San explained to be the difference between the different pens. It is, in fact, more complicated than you may think.

　 Can you see the difference between these two nibs?

　 No, nor could I. But the difference in writing experience is like night and day.

　 Tiny variations in the width of the points at the end of the nib, the width and length of the split in the nib, all contribute to the pen's defining hardness rating.
　
The eleven pens in the collection range from EF (Extra Fine), the hardest, to MS (Music), the softest, used only by musicians writing down notes. Writing with the hard pens gives you a feeling of Japanese-level precision, but I wouldn't recommend the hardest - this feels like writing while almost breaking something very fragile. The fat-nib pens give a fluid writing experience, but are inky and splashy. Everything in life is a trade-off, it seems.


　 The next-fattest pen after MS, C ("Kousu", presumably "Coarse"), is favoured by foreigners. I have to admit, it did provide an unusually smooth and comfortable writing experience. However, Japanese characters, especially detailed ones, come out all smudgy.


　 Iijima San even honoured me with allowing me to have a go on his personal fountain pen, a member of the retractable Capless range (retails at around $180 per pen), which seemed to be of a medium-hardness.　

Still fluid, but with clearer and crisper than a wide nib.　

　 As for the cafe', I unfortunately ran out of time, but it is a nice place, really.

For more Japan writing-instrument information, see this site.　

Great Reversal of Fortune at Kyoto

Spring is upon us. Last Friday was the official first day of spring in Japan, and all people are getting excited about Hanami ("Looking at the Flowers") Season, aka Sakura Season. Hanami actually is when Japanese people go out of the office/university in droves to sit under blossoming cherry blossoms, and get blind-drunk. It is widely-regarded as the most auspicious time of year to start anything.

Since this is the start of the new financial year, new graduates employed by companies typically get the task of staking out a good spot for their office, putting some cushions on the ground, and sitting there - for ages - until everyone else turns up.　

So, what better time than now to go to Kyoto?


This is the Kiomizu (clear water) shrine. Rated (by me) as the Kyoto's top temple, above even the Golden Temple.　

Look - our first Sakura tree!


　 Coming up to the temple there are some ladies dressed up as Geisha posing for photos in front of a cherry blossom. I felt that this was very Japanese.



Now, here we are, the view from the Kiomizu. Not bad at all.




　 　 But, enough of this wandering around. We're here for real business.

This lady is selling Omikuji (fortune-telling pieces of paper) inside the temple. 100Yen per fortune told.


　 You shake this old-school box, and out comes...


...a stick with a number on it!




　I got number 17.

The lady hands you the appropriate paper.

My fortune is ....

... "BAD" !!!　

　 It says:

- You have to be very conservative
- Any enterprise undertaken, even if you struggle a lot, will lead to poverty
- If you are ill, you should not change your doctor or medicine
- It will be difficult for you to be happy
- If you sue someone, you'll lose, so it is better to be careful
- If you've lost something in water, or in a dark place, it will be hard to find
- If you fight with someone you will lose, or if you win, you will soon encounter difficulties
- Be careful, you may die (!)

Now, as you may imagine, I wasn't entirely happy with these prognostications.

Thankfully, mercifully, if you don't take the Omikuji home, then you can forget about it. However, you must tie it to a tree. I don't know why. Perhaps the bad news will get bored of being tied to the tree. Or the tree may eat it (I'm just speculating here).

But then, just as I was going to tie the bad news away on a tree branch:

"Please do not tie Omikuji to tree branches" .... What now?


　 Thankfully, you can tie your bad Omikuji to a specially-designated clothes-drying frame. It is believed that it is just as effective as a tree. This guy kept on muttering "I can't believe I got BAD again. Why do I always get BAD..."


　 The proper way to do it is to firstly fold lengthwise into a tieable surface:


　 Tie it on.


　 Its OK if you're a beginer and completely screw it up by tearing the omikuji. Just retie and insert the torn part into the knot:


　 Now, this is the famous Kiomuzu Platform, well-known from the saying "it's like jumping off from the Kiomizu platform". This means to do something big. If you jumped off here, you would be in big trouble.


　 Also, following my close brush with danger, its probably good to have a look at some cloth talismans ("omamori"), in order to help out in the good-fortune side of things.


　 But which one to chose?

Wealth is always a good option. That thing about wealth not buying happiness was probably made up by someone poor, like me.


　 Safe traffic. Kind of niche. Probably would buy it to give to a taxi driver.

　 Longevity is actually quite a good option if you think about it. It may be fun to say "you need to die of something"/"I want to die before I'm old" etc., but in reality, bad living will not only make you die younger, but your later years will be unpleasant and rubbish.


　 Now, clearly, Better Fortune & Success trumps For Wealth. But then again "better" is relative, isn't it.


　 But the ultimate has to be the Aladin's lamp version:

"For A Variety of Wishes" !!!


　 Available in two colour-schemes.


You can also buy a book like this:


　 Which is essentially a list of all the top-rated temples (presumably rated by knowledgable people). In each one, an experienced chap with a paint brush paints a funny mark inside (he was sitting right here, but ran away):


　 The funny mark looks like caligraphy, but isn't actually a Kanji (Japanese character), as far as I can tell:


　 But what's this?

A second omikuji place in the same temple?

I have a chance to get some good fortune!

OK, here we go again:


　 Number 99 - sounds promising already.


　 "BIG GOODNESS" !!!


　 My fortune, as ammended:



- The person who encounters this Omikuji will have the morning sun rising upon them

- Difficulties encountered up till now will fade like stepping out of the darkness into a moonlit night

- They ought to be able to get what they want

- They will be plenty happy

- If they are ill, they shall make a full recovery

- Any journey undertaken will be successful

- If pregnant, birth will be easy

- If they enter into a fight/disagreement, they ought to be careful

- If there is a question of life or death, life shall prevail

- Any business connected to land, money/gold, paper, or trees will be successful

- They will have lots of children

- They will win in any fight they have



Well, I'll settle for that.